


Charitable Giving

by Itsallfine



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cavemen, Crack, GridLOCK DC, Implied Johnlock, M/M, Pre-Slash, Prompt Fill, Self-cest, Stone Age AU, Time Travel, Vibrators, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:46:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4547208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsallfine/pseuds/Itsallfine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>DON'T READ THIS.<br/>Written at the flash fiction workshop held at GridLOCK DC 2015 by emmagrant01 and mydwynter. My prompts were Sherlock/Sherlock, "no", Stone Age AU, and vibrator/dildo. WTF was I supposed to do with that? Look y'all, this isn't my brand, but you asked me to post it so here it is. Complete and utter crack. Please don't judge my writing by this terrible ficlet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charitable Giving

**Author's Note:**

  * For [madnina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnina/gifts), [huddersandhiddles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/huddersandhiddles/gifts).



> I blame hudders-and-hiddles and madnina, who asked me to post this instead of letting it die a silent death in the TPP suite at GridLOCK. Thanks to the rest of my writing group there who sat through my live reading of this. Please keep in mind that this was written in 20 minutes and was unbeta'd and almost entirely unedited.
> 
> This fic is NOT representative of my writing. Seriously.
> 
> I'm [librarylock](http://librarylock.tumblr.com) on tumblr.

When Sherlock opened his eyes, 221b was gone. The busy Victorian wallpaper had been replaced with cold stone, and the warmth of the fireplace was sapped from his skin by the bite of chilled air. He blinked once. Twice.  
  
Perhaps he’d overshot, a bit. Sherlock was fairly certain that 1895 didn’t have cavemen.  
  
Sherlock cocked his head and studied the two men in front of him. They were horribly … familiar. Their hair was long and filthy, hanging around their faces in matted curtains, but their eyes were sharp. Sherlock would have expected fear, but they regarded him with a steady wariness instead: one set of dark blue eyes, and one set pale and piercing.  
  
The men grunted at each other, back and forth in a furious conversation, until the smaller of the two men—a perfect copy of John Watson in a loincloth, he noted with interest—stormed past Sherlock and out the opening of the cave. The other man, who wore Sherlock’s own face, stared after him with an all-too-familiar expression.  
  
Sherlock felt a twinge of something deep in his chest. He hesitated, then dropped his case to the ground. A click, and the case was open, its contents nearly spilling onto the cave floor. He rifled through for a moment until he found what he was looking for, then stood and faced his stone age twin.  
  
“Here,” Sherlock said, and handed him the item. “Take this. You need it more than I do.”  
  
The man turned the object over in his hands, paused, then lifted it to his lips and bit down on it.  
  
“No.” Sherlock pulled it away from the man’s mouth and took the object back. “Watch.”  
  
He flicked a switch on its side, and the object—a smooth, silicone dildo—began to vibrate. He lowered it to his twin’s loincloth and ran it up the inside of his thigh, then dipped behind, just enough to get the point across.  
  
“You see?” Sherlock asked.  
  
The other man nodded, his lips parted, the beginning of an erection pushing at his loincloth. He snatched the dildo from Sherlock’s hands and clutched it tight to his chest.  
  
With a small, sad smile, Sherlock stepped back, picked up his case, and closed his eyes. 1895, for real this time.

Hopefully the next Sherlock wouldn’t require such a gift.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> More fics and general shenanigans at [librarylock](http://librarylock.tumblr.com).


End file.
